The Power of the Pause: Why You Shouldn’t "Hit Send" Just Yet
In my years leading both paid staff and volunteer teams, I’ve found that the most volatile tool in a leader’s arsenal isn't a budget or a board meeting—it’s the "Send" button.
We live in an era of instant response, where speed is often mistaken for effectiveness. However, some of history’s greatest leaders—and the most impactful leaders of today—understand that the most powerful move you can make is often to wait.
Lessons from the "Unsent" File
Abraham Lincoln was famous for writing scathing letters to those who failed his expectations. Driven by the raw emotion of the moment, he would pour his disappointment onto the page—most notably in a letter to General George Meade after the Battle of Gettysburg.
But here is the leadership secret: Lincoln rarely sent them. He would hit pause and put them aside, leaving them unsigned and unmailed. After his death, a file was discovered filled with these unsent letters—proof of a leader who chose reflection over reaction.
Modern Wisdom: The Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast
This isn't just a tactic for 19th-century presidents. I recently listened to an episode of the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast featuring Santiago “Jimmy” Mellado, the president of Compassion International.
Mellado admitted that he handles high-pressure correspondence in a very similar way. In this day of instant response, he writes his passionate replies but intentionally leaves the “To” box empty. By pausing and reflecting before hitting send, he ensures that his leadership is driven by purpose rather than impulse.
The Two Pillars of Success
When I coach other leaders, I often use this phrase: “Anyone can be successful if they have great self-awareness, which is followed by self-regulation.”
Lincoln and Mellado both exhibit this vital trait of self-regulation. They are living out the timeless advice found in James 1:19-20: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Why the "Drafts" Folder is Your Best Friend
Taking a moment before you respond isn’t about being indecisive; it’s about being intentional. The "pause" provides three critical benefits:
Emotional Release: Writing the message allows you to vent your frustrations and clear your head.
A Cooling-Off Period: Keeping the "To" box empty or placing the note in a draft folder prevents a permanent mistake made in a temporary moment.
The Right Decision: Revisiting the message after the pause helps you decide if sending it will actually produce the "righteousness" or results you desire.
Actionable Leadership Steps
The "To" Box Rule: When writing a difficult email, never fill in the recipient’s address until you have finished and reread it.
The 24-Hour Buffer: For high-stakes disagreements, commit to a "cooling-off period." Write the draft today, but don't look at it again until tomorrow morning.
Practice Self-Regulation: Next time you feel the urge to react, ask yourself: "Is this response helping us reach our organizational goal, or am I just reacting to my own frustration?"
As leaders, hitting "pause" gives us a greater opportunity to do the right thing for our teams and our mission.
