You're So Discouraging

You're So Discouraging


That’s not what I wanted to hear, but that is exactly what my son said: “you are so discouraging.”

We were on a road trip, just the two of us in the car and of course he was in charge of the playlist.
I love my son and his diverse taste in music from Elvis to 70s rock to…well, anything.
The playlist that day included the rough mixes of his upcoming project of original songs. Yes, he is that talented that he writes and sings his original songs. He also gathers his friends and gets the songs recorded.

As I listened many thoughts went through my mind:

I wish the mix was a little better so I could hear his voice, I want to hear what he has to say.
I like the guitar licks he has added.
How did come up with that twist of words, that’s really good.
Wow…I am so amazed at his talent and willingness to share.
He is so creative.

The songs finished and then he just turned the music off and got quiet, turning his head toward the window, with his chin on his chest.

It didn’t take long for me to sense that something was wrong so I asked. That’s when he said: “you are so discouraging.”

All those things positive thoughts about how proud I was of him and how amazed I was at how he was allowing God to use his talents had stayed in my head. I had not offered one comment.
I missed a great chance to tell my son how proud I was of him and how I amazed I am at his creativity.

Over the next few days, I really begin to think about the scene that played out in the car that day. I realized not only did I miss a chance to encourage my son but I often miss those same type of opportunity with other people in my life.

I apologized to my son and that opened up communication lines to a great conversation about his music and other things.

One time is enough, I don’t ever want to hear those words from my son again and I don’t want the other people in my life, whether family, friends or co-workers to say or think that phrase about me.

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